How to Figure Out What's Standing In Your Way


Former NBA trainer and Director of Sports Medicine for Biggest Loser, Dr. Marc H. Boff, told us that one of the best pieces of advice he has received is “You are your worst enemy and your own best weapon.” We sat down (virtually) to unpack that with him.

Essentially, he’s saying two things:

1- We are often what stands in the way of where we are and where we want to be.

2- We’re also the ones who can clear the pathway to achieve our goals.

Of course, when we talk about “where”, we’re not talking about location. Most of us are home now because of the Coronavirus crisis, when we’d rather have the freedom to be out in the world.

“Where we are” is really a question of where we are mentally, physically, and spiritually with ourselves. How do we feel in our bodies, in our daily lives, in our relationships? “Where we want to be” is a matter of how we’d like to feel.

Indulge us for a minute and check in with yourself. Ask yourself these questions to identify out “where you are”:

  • How are you feeling? What’s your state of mind? What emotions did you experience today?

  • Where am I at physically? How does my body feel? What is my body able to do? What limits does my body face?

(You can write down the responses if it helps you.)

Now, ask yourself these questions to figure out “where you want to be”:

  • How do you want to feel? What emotions and mindsets do you want to fill your day?

  • Where do you want to be physically? How do you want your body to feel? What do you want your body to do? 

Here comes the most important part; figuring out what’s blocking your way. Dr. Boff suggests that we’re often what stands in our own way. But what does that mean? How does it play out?

There is a great and simple exercise you can do to solve this puzzle: observe yourself.

You don’t need to jump into trying to make changes now. To start, just begin to pay attention to how you spend your time, what you do throughout the day, and how different activities make you feel. 

You can do this in whatever way seems most natural for you but we suggest post-meal and pre-sleep check-ins. After breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and before going to bed for the night, take a minute to reflect on how you spent the last few hours. Jot down notes on what you did, about how much time you spent on each activity, and how you felt while doing them. Even if you’re just sitting on the couch watching TV, write that down. Make note of what you are watching. 

Do this for a few days. You need to get familiar with the terrain before mapping your route.

Next week we’ll share advice on how to use your newfound awareness to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. 

There’s a lot going on that we can’t control right now but we can control our actions and reactions. Our wellness team is here to provide tips and insights on how.

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